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Priceless.
One of the funniest most-embarrassing-moment stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom.
Mom's Advice.
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.
He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did it and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
I thought I told you to call your mom, she screamed.
I did, he said, And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.
An escape convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spend 25-years of his sentence in prison.
While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room.
He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck.
Suddenly he got up and left the room.
I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry.
Just cooperate and do anything he wants.
If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it.
Our lives depend on it!
Be Strong and I Love You.
You are right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear.
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