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Do you speak english?
Хм.. думаю будет интересно только людям, которые хотя бы знают английский алфавит!
Кстати, если знаете перевод, то шлите на мыло :)))))
What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Three words to ruin a man's ego.
How does a guy know if he has a high spermcount?
If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it Goodyear.
What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
Curl Up and Die.
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?
Pad, please!
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad.
He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
Ho, Ho, Ho.
I was taking a shower when my two year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.
They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards.
Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look.
Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!
Lady Golfer.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
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